What we make of it...

"I have always believed that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value."
– Hermann Hesse

I have been feeling a little down in the dumps the last few days. I've had a knee injury that has kept me laid up for several days and finances are always a worry. This morning I was having a grand little Pity Party for a Party of One - me.

And then I realized. MY life and MY feelings are completely my responsibility. I can focus on the small things that aren't quite what I want them to be, or I can focus on the big things that are really important and realize the world is right.

My granddaughter has a lot of people who love her, even though I don't get to see her as often as I would like. She has a blessed life and for that I am grateful.

My knee may be painful and keeping me immobile for now, but it will heal - its just a temporary thing.

And what a grand and glorious day! Who could complain on a day like this - 70 degrees, a nice breeze, just a hint of autumn crispness in the air - my favorite time of year!

And my wonderful wonderful husband who searched for me for thirteen years. Life just wouldn't be complete without him. And whatever the future holds, we face it together, side by side. Because as my mother-in-law says "marriage is not about standing face to face and gazing into each other's eyes, its about standing side by side and looking down the same path, together."

This Journey of Life

The journey is hard

this journey of life

and I always lived

it so tough

From one task to another

never finishing everything

on my list - my

never ending list

I worried, I hurried

I guilted myself

I worked and I

rarely slept

Till one day my

world exploded and

I feel down

so low

Twas a blessing

in disguise because

my route back

forced me to learn

Who I really

wanted to be what

was important and

what was not

I’ve learned to slow

down and see the world

around me in all its

glory

The birds and

the bees

and

the sun

Now you’ll find

me quietly taking time

to stop and

rest

and be...

I was talking to a friend this past week and I realized that my generation of women were really the Corporate Pioneers. Women had always been teachers and nurses, but never the school principal or the doctor.

Our generation was told that we could have it all. And so we all tried to grab that elusive prize, never realizing until it was too late that the price for having it all was so high that who would really want it?

It's a documented fact that I had a mid-life melt down, but I think the majority of women do. Some bigger than others, but still I hope my children's generation learns to slow down and just enjoy the moment. I was always so busy planning for the next big thing that I missed every single moment.

And the moments are where we truly live...

Perspective

I took one of those quizzes in Facebook and found out that this will be a year of Perspective for me. Not that I put faith in the little quizzes, but this wasn't the first time 'perspective' has come up.

It is so easy to get caught up in all the little things (and big things) that aren't right in your life. That energy drags you down until you believe you don't deserve anything good. But just when I find myself caught in that trap, I become aware of someone who would be grateful to be where I am - a place that I'm not happy with at the moment.

Its hard for me to look toward the future and know that God will provide and I will be fine. Some days I may face obstacles, but in that very same, difficult day, I have blessings that far surpass the obstacles. To me perspective is recognizing those blessings and not dwelling on the obstacles.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately and came across this snippet:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart

and try to love the questions themselves.

Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be

given you because you would not be able

to live them. And the point is to live everything.

Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then

gradually, without noticing it, live along some

distant day into the answers.

--Rainer Maria Rilke, LETTER TO A YOUNG POET

Be grateful for all the small things in your life. I guarantee you that if it were all taken away today, it would be those small things that you miss most of all. Sunshine, wind on your face, a private shower, hugs, a comfortable sweatshirt. Don't miss the blessings, of which we all have many.

Welcome!

Welcome to the first post on Toby Talk, my little picket fence piece of the internet.

Here in Kansas we are having our second Hoar Frost of the week - its really pretty rare. We also had a Blue Moon this month so maybe something special is going on.

I always have so many things to say and no where to say them. Lucky You can now share them.

Chris and I bought a 2 story 1894 Brick Building in downtown Sedalia. Chris is living and breathing that building right now while I enjoy the comfort of heat and a bathroom at my mom's. I stayed there Sunday night and it was tolerable. It is so exciting to see something that seemed doomed and know that we can breathe new life into it.

It would just be a little bit easier with some heat :)

There is always hope and healing

My purpose in sharing this journey is to help other women, who may be on the verge of an escape of their own, to realize they need help before its too late. It is also intended to inspire women who feel that their life can’t get any worse and they have no hope for a future.

There is always hope. It is possible to heal from anything, no matter how utterly devastating. That doesn’t mean your life will be as it was. In fact, I can guarantee it won’t. But it can be better. It can be okay.

I believe that it is when we are at our lowest, our deepest darkest point of despair, that we are able to hear God. That’s when we are truly blessed.